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People have a difficult time challenging their inner critic because they have a difficult time believing in their worth. We’ve all seen people say they “know their worth,” but they'll stay in situations that are not healthy, where they aren't being emotionally or physically taken care of.
You can’t always change your circumstances quickly, but if you're in a place where you aren't being taken care of, or you're not feeling happy, then you should be making an exit strategy. When you don't make an exit strategy, you start to settle, and that's when your worth becomes compromised.
Low self-worth may result in staying in a platonic friendship or intimate relationship where your emotional needs are not being met, losing vacation time because you're always working, or not going to the dentist and doctor. By not taking care of yourself, you also challenge your worth.
Here are four strategies to help you identify and make sure that you're taking care of your self-worth.
- Self-Validation Make sure you're validating yourself. This can be difficult because as children, we learn to get validation from other people. It's a survival mechanism. If people like us, they feed us. If people like us, they change our diapers. If people like us, they play with us. We learn to pay attention to how people respond to us, and if that pattern is not broken as we get older, we become people-pleasers. Even though we learned that other people define our acceptance, we can learn to balance that ourselves. We do this by identifying what's acceptable, and not looking outside of ourselves for validation. It's great that your friends will give you accolades, but practice defining your own identity and what success means to you.
- Who You Spend Your Time With Think about the two people you spend most of your time with. How do they make you feel? Do they take care of you emotionally? Do you take care of them emotionally? Think about the top two places where you spend your time. Maybe it’s work or somewhere else. How do you feel when you walk into that building? How do you feel when you think about that building? Your environment will either feed you or deplete you - so be mindful of it.
- Focus On The Present Just because you failed at something in the past doesn't mean that you will fail at it in the future. Focus on the present situation, ask for help when you need it, and don't allow your past to define what's happening in the present or may take place in the future.
- Self-Care Getting your nails done is great, but you also want to take care of yourself on the inside. That requires identifying when you're not at peace and doing something about it. Staying in a situation that robs you of your peace will compromise your worth because you're not being emotionally fed. Instead, you will likely spend time taking care of everyone other than yourself.
When you start to doubt your worth, make it your intention to validate yourself, be aware of your environment and how it makes you feel, to focus on the present moment, and make inner self-care a priority. Know what makes you feel at peace, and do not be afraid to go after those things. This is how you assert your worth.